I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
