dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
operation harelip BJ is a go
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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