those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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