Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize