i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Rumble strips road head = magical
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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