i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
