1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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