fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
