The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
