Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
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