i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
