i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
