was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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