I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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