i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
