Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i used baking grease as lip gloss
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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