somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
you made out with another girl for some wings
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
