Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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