Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize