Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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