if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
