Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
