If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
