I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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