I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize