I'm drive I can fine osifer
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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