He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
