I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
