you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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