my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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