But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
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I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
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You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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