Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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