i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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