i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Two words: blizzard sex
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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