For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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