What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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