I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
