I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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