ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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