I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
