You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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