i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
