to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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