I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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