Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
