Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
