you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
