Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize