You're completely useless in the revolution.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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