I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize