i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
