I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
