i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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