I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This can only be settled by a dance off.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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