2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
