You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
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