All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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